Saturday, 7 January 2012

A stranger still?

I want to share this thought with you. It is something that has been in my mind for sometimes.

I think of my 20 years marriage after 6 years of 'friendship'. And so added into the 20 years of marriage, i actually knew my husband for 26 years! Is that not a long years to know someone?

I thought, with that many years, i know my husband well enough. Surprisingly, it is not. The years just went by...and there is always something new i discover about my husband. Even though the new discovery does not happen often but considering the number of years i spent my life with him, it is to me still amazing that the person i have been sharing my room with, is never really one you know totally well.

Sometimes i find the discovery is pleasant but there are times when i feel, i do not want to know.

When you were not yet married, everything looks nice, and you basically accept every faults of your partner. Then you get married. Then you discover more about your partner. For the first few months, you tell yourself, okay, this is a period of adjustment. And being deeply in love, every new faults are still acceptable. Right? And these are the years when the trials begin, either you can weather out the tribulations, the misunderstanding, the difficulties, together just give up and say, 'i want out of this!' I guess this is what happen in many cases nowadays. We, women, become so independent, we follow the footsteps of the westerners...'unwed' ourselves.

Me? Hmmm...whenever there are difficulties, i always think back of the reason i chose my husband, how good he has been to me, and that everyone has some facets of self that may not be favorable but who am i to judge my partner badly when i myself, is full of weaknesses and faults?

So at the end, i decided that, take things as they are, adjust accordingly, take a good deep breath, pray hard and be my best self.

I think i read something like this are the mirror image of your partner...albeit the opposite one...and that, we are the complement of the other half? But sometimes...i do let myself wishing for the stars....

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